Divorce mediation is when you as the couple will come together with a third-party neutral. So what does that mean? Well, typically the mediator is going to be either a financial professional, an attorney, a judge, maybe a mental health professional, but basically, it's somebody that understands the process of divorce, understands what couples have gone through and understands some of the financial aspects, including parenting or maintenance or child support, and can help guide the couple in deciding what is the best way for them to get divorced.

So what mediation is, is the couple bringing all the issues to the mediator and the mediator is acting as a referee or a communications specialist and helping the parties talk about the issues in a very respectful way. A lot of times in divorces, communication issues are a big problem. Maybe it's very difficult to have a conversation with your spouse. Sometimes we have one spouse that is a little bit more controlling, and the other spouse is a little bit more passive. And so what happens in mediation is everybody becomes aware of the information, the underlying financial situation, maybe even, you know, the child custody situation and the mediator will offer ideas or really help you the couple come up with ideas that could fit in your situation. So there's really no right or wrong way to go about mediation. It's finding somebody who has a good fit with the couple and understands the divorce arena in your state. Everything regarding divorce is typically state specific, so finding a mediator that understands what's happening in your state is very imperative.

How is our process different than mediation? At ValuationMediation.com what we're really looking at is more complex financial matters. And so what we do a little different; the mediator here is going to be a financial expert, a financial professional that understands how to look at tax returns, how to look at financial statements, bank statements retirement accounts, and understand maintenance or alimony and child support issues in your specific state. But also we look at it a little different in that we're sitting in the middle, but providing you some basis of understanding if there is a valuation or a business involved in the particular divorce. Our process uses a mediator in the middle that is a financial expert and then we encourage the couple to each get their own attorney and an advocate for them in the process. But for the most part we just have a little bit of different skills in looking at the mediation basically from a financial standpoint.e

A financial neutral is a term that's used in collaborative divorce or some people may start calling it cooperative divorce. That's a very specific process that's kind of based on mediation, but it involves a little bit more. So a financial neutral is typically going to sit in the middle and offer the couple or both spouses information about the financials. So let's say, for example, there's a pension and we're not exactly sure what the payment's going to be for the pension or if there's a present value, a current value for the pension. So the financial neutral is going to run the analysis and look at different options or analyses and offer it back up to the couple. The mediator might ask: “What would happen if maybe you split the pension? What would happen if you one person kept the pension and the other one didn't?” The same will affect for evaluation or any sort of stock options or complex financial situation within the divorce. The financial neutral is really working for both parties, what that means is we're really an advocate for the truth and the information and making sure that everybody has equal footing in understanding what the financial reality is.

A lot of times it's not for us to be on one side or the other, we're just trying to be an advocate for the information and making sure that everybody understands what information is included and if there are any financial nuances in your state.

One issue is separate and marital property. So sometimes a person could have come into the relationship with an inheritance or some sort of gift during the marriage or an inheritance that came in the middle of the marriage. The financial neutral would talk to the couple about the differences between separate and marital assets. How do we trace those marital assets? How do we determine what is separate? The mediator is giving both sides of the picture, and they are uncovering all of the issues that maybe nobody really knows existed.

But in our opinion, if you bring all the information to light for both parties to look at, it gives everybody the opportunity and the capability to make the best decision for themselves and for the couple and for the family unit going forward.